#4 - On Sin and Sinning

Sin is not angering an easily enraged or indifferent God. It is spitting on the face of a loving Father and bruised Saviour.

 

There are many things that draw out controversy and one of such is the topic of sin. In fact, the topic of sin is soo awkward that it is literally a conversation killer. Like if you just WANT to end a conversation flow in a mixed (READ: nonreligious) crowd, just chip in something like this:

“Sooo, what do you guys think of pre-marital sex.”

Silence.

A cough.

Then a brave soul.

“Errm…well. It’s bad?”

That’s it. You have effectively ended the conversation coming at your direction (this is a bonus tip for anyone who wants to learn how to survive in socially awkward situations. You’re welcome). It is easier and less awkward to talk about the weather and the news than it is to talk about sin.

Why? Because we all either sin, will sin or have sinned. And let’s be honest, it is easier to talk about how clear the sky is today than to talk about ME and my failings. If it didn’t rain today or if the dollar rate has risen, it was the weather or President Buhari that failed. Not me.

But when it is sin, I have to put myself in that awkward position of scrutiny. And when confronted with it, I shuffle my feet, study a particularly fascinating pattern on my skirt, shrug in a let’s-look-flippant way and mutter, “Well, I…err…struggle…sometimes.”

But the truth is, the topic of sin is so crucial that we should always want to talk about it. This topic was so important that three chapters into the first book of the Bible, it shows up and from there everything got disrupted and it started showing up more often than we would have liked. In fact, as I was recently going through the history books of the Bible, I got a good sense that Sin was the central theme.

But, what is sin?

This question is probably a no-brainer since we all seem to know what sin is but I think a large portion of us are more ignorant on this topic than we care to admit. Because 80 percent of the time when I ask this question in a religious crowd, I get something along the lines of: "It is anything you do that is against God's commandment." While this is true in some sense, it is not essentially how God sees sin.

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” (Revelation 4:11 – KJV)

When God made the world and all that is in it, He did so with some intent in His heart. He made everything beautiful and holy but then sin walks in and messes the whole thing up. Sin is not essentially the action, sin is the intent. It is a nature. It is losing God in the knowledge of what we do.It is either being blind or blindfolded (depending on what side of the coin you fall). It is having SERIOUS loyalty issues. It is not coming up against God’s law. It is coming up against God Himself.

We were made for GOD’S pleasure. We were made for Him, not for ourselves. The second we step outside this ideal and start pleasing ourselves, WE SIN. Therefore, anything I do that is outside God’s pleasure IS SIN. It doesn’t matter if it is on the list of good deeds, if it is not FOR God, then well, yeah, sin wins.

I guess you would already be shaking your head thinking, “How can this be possible? It is so hard. How do I even know what God wants anyways?” This begins to give us a sense that we are in an impossible situation here. The nature of sin in us, the one we are used to is one that is alien to God, by nature opposed to Him and all that He is. We may be moralists for a while, but even in that, the ultimate intent remains to promote ourselves, making it sin.

We need a miracle.

Then, (*drum roll*) enter Jesus! He comes in and saves us from this impossible fix by his suffering on the cross and subsequent resurrection, effectively dealing with our sins and the nature of sin in us, through our belief. He doesn’t bother with plucking out the fruits but roots out the tree from the very ground it stands. He gives us the nature where, as Ezekiel 36:27 puts it “I will put my Spirit in you and make you eager to obey my laws and teachings.”

That’s one side of the coin.

The other part is this: Christians still sin. A lot. It is a reality that we face because we live in a fallen world and a body so used to sin. Now, here’s where I make my point (the lesson I’m learning). When I sin as a Christian, I effectively spit upon my Saviour’s face. I turn against him and his death. Because sin is EVERYTHING he died for. My sin was so serious it caused the very God of the universe HIS LIFE. 

It wasn’t just a little prank I played or a joke I didn’t mean, it was deadly and caused God’s son His LIFE. And I’m not just talking about giving His life on the cross, but also living for 33years or so in a depraved world without sinning. It is so serious that Jesus said I would be better off sawing my arm off or plucking my eyes out than to sin. Therefore, I have to lose the consciousness of this to sin. I have to lose sight of the cross, the price of my sin, turn my back on Him; the Father who gave all for me.

I have taken His gift for granted. I have walked away from His table and gone to feed on dirt. I have walked with blindfolds. I have hurt God. I have angered God. I have disappointed God. I have hurt myself.
 
He doesn't find this amusing.

It is very serious.

And this is how He sees sin in me.

Sometimes, I thoughtlessly do some things and forget this truth. Why can’t I be more conscious of the cross? Living a crucified life is a liberating one. But it demands from me. It demands that I leave my all, my ideals, my LIFE on His altar. That I DIE. But no one wants to die right?

And herein lies the fix. Herein lies victory.

The Cross.

Side Note:

“Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete.” (Ephesians 4:30 – TLB)
 
Alright, I have said what I think know sin is.

So, what is your definition of sin?


Side Side Note:

Oh, and a book I will totally recommend for you on this topic is "The Smell of sin and the Fresh air of Grace" by Don Everts.

You could check the link or contact me if you'd like a copy.  





*Based on the "What I have been learning" series.

#3 – Busy being busy

A multitude of activities doth not a success make...

Image source: Unknown

I used to have a veerry cluttered desktop. No, not the wooden one. My virtual desktop. Computer. This is mostly because I have tones of sticky notes flying around. Notes, tips and several goals I placed on my PC to help organize my life.

My tiff is however not with my love-hate-relationship with sticky notes. I like sticky notes, really I do and maybe a little clutter too. But the quarrel is with myself.

Here is why…

The ONLY reason I have tonnes of sticky notes is because I have tonnes of unfinished tasks. Somehow, it feels really good writing those notes down. And I won’t argue there are benefits, but the problem is after making dozens of bullet point goals, I sit back and admire my art of goal setting. But, after some weeks, I come back and if I still find those tasks undone, I begin to feel like I have…err…failed.

I define the quality of my life and ultimately my success by the number if things I am able to accomplish. This has always been one of my twisted ways of defining success. That the measure of success is being able to manage different things at the same time and succeed at all. I always thought, “Oh, you are good at that? Just that? What is the fun in that?” You see, this should not surprise you (maybe it doesn’t ‘cos you think the same way) as I am a serial multi-tasker. All ladies are. The quintessential Juliet-of-all-trades…err…master of…umm…err...none?

But it gets frustrating like I said, when I come back only to find I was not able to accomplish most of those tasks. It gets even worse when on some days I know I should be doing something but then just sit staring blankly at my bullet point list trying to figure out what to do. Ironic right? I mean I have many things to do already. Right?

Sigh.

Then I found something.

“I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.” (John 17:4 – NKJV)

Did you get that? Jesus said, ‘I have finished the work YOU gave me to do’. Not ‘the work Peter gave me to do’. Or ‘the work the Pharisees want me to do.’ But the work YOU gave me to do. Each time I pictured Jesus, I used to see Him as this super busy activity overlord who was running around healing the sick, preaching and generally doing good without a breather. But this is not true. Inasmuch as he was far from idle (John 9:4), he couldn’t possibly have been that busy if he could sit and draw circles in the stand, have relaxed conversations with strangers he met at the well, or have dinner parties with sinners. There were gazillions of sick people and lots of requests and expectations from him (many expected him to be an earthly king who would overthrow the Roman government), but he did only what God gave Him to do.

You see, this is key. I have realized that the only one I will report to is God. He is the one who holds the blueprint for my life. My duty is therefore, to find this blueprint on a daily basis. Instead of wasting time running off frantically in busyness, I should spend all that time finding what He wants me to do. I will be shocked to find that what he requires of me is blessedly simple. I should just chill and follow Him. This is not only wise but time-efficient.

Doing this, will drastically simplify our lives. God wants us to live full lives. Not busy lives. He wants us to live to the fullest. Love to the fullest. Abundant life. He wants to stretch us. But He doesn’t want us wasting precious time running at every one’s beck and call and generally getting burned out trying to compete with the world’s standard of success.

Busyness is great but can leave us blindly chasing results and not process. It sometimes has us leaving brush strokes all around and forgetting to admire the beautiful painting that is our lives. It can leave us as doers instead of livers.
 
Am I saying not to push yourself to the limit? Am I saying to be mediocre? Far from it! God will push you to your limits, His plans are anything but mediocre. What I am saying is this: shed off the extra load! De-clutter your life. The only burden you want in your life is that which God places on you. And it will shock you to find it is very light!

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 – NKJV).
 
His burden is light if we take it up with joy and surrender. Pause a little. Review your to-do list. For whom are you doing them? If the answer is not God, then immediately strike them off your list. Now, begin to ask God, “What will you have me do?” Sometimes, you cannot sit idle and wait for God to move you. Take one step in faith first and watch Him guide you. Because a success is not a busy person but an obedient, purposeful person.

I may not do all the great things I dream of doing. I may not go all the places I desire to go. I may not make all the money I want to. I may not please everybody, even myself. I may not fill every moment of my life with ‘great’ activities. But I will do all God expects of me. I will settle for what He wants even if it looks insignificant in the world’s eyes. Things like faith, love, hope, joy…silence. I will work tirelessly for His beautiful will. I will wait on and for Him.

And maybe that’s okay.

Side Note:

In summary: 
 
Whatever you do, don’t EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRR, EVER, EVER get too busy for God.

Ever.

Sorry, I was testing my copy and paste skills :)

Okay, here goes: Whatever you do, don't ever get too busy for God.



*Based on the "What I have been learning" series.

#2 – On God’s love

God loves me unconditionally. He loves me because He is Love and not because I am lovely.

I had a terrible day the other day. It was so horrible I was on the verge of tears. Don’t ask me about it because it is not a gist for today. And if you are really interested, you can grab me whenever you see me and ask me about it. I’ll be polite. Except I’m having another bad day -__-

Alright, where was I?

Yeah, I had a horrible day. The day was so so so bad. In fact it was not palatable at all. I felt like I had probably woken on the wrong side of the bed and maybe as Sara Groves puts it, the wrong side of the world. It was just horrible. Ick.

Okay, I’m sure you get the idea.

So, I was having this phenomenally bad day, and to make it worse, most of it was my own folly. I had made some terrible decisions and crossed some lines that day. And as I sat on the slab, licking my wounds and battling the tears, I began to get in the ‘sorry me’ mood. You know, the one where you suddenly remember all the things wrong with your life and how you are the innocent victim of life...yadda, yadda, yadda. Yeah, that one.
 
But as I am wont to do, I did not chalk the horribleness of my day to a few bad decisions alone. I dug deeper and realized that all these could be traced to just one bad decision I made that morning or maybe several of those before then.

I missed my time with God.

Okay, so you may roll your eyes and snort thinking, “And so?” But for me, this was huge (or I want it to be huge. It should be [this is another long post]). And somehow, I began to think that maybe, just maybe God was getting back at me for standing him up too long. Of course, I tried to shake this feeling off immediately it came, saying I knew better.

But the suspicion was there.

We are like this a lot of times. We believe that God’s love for us is based on our performance. We feel loved when we act well but unloved when we act badly but this is a lie.  In fact, it was while we were still dead to God in sin and cared nothing for Him that He demonstrated His love for us (Romans 5:28). It was while we were enemies of God and were wanderers lost in our own folly that He extended a hand of fellowship to us.

God loves us because He is Love. This is His nature. He cannot help but love. He loves because He is love and not because we are lovely. Nothing we do or don’t do will make Him love us more or less. We cannot coerce Him to love us because we don’t have to.

 “The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. [He is the originator of love, and it is an enduring attribute of His nature.]” (1 John 4:8 – Amplified Bible).

That’s just the way it is. And of course there are times we do fall short and begin to wonder about whether we deserve to be loved. I know I wonder. But, the truth is we don’t, we don't deserve it and it is in this state that we can truly appreciate the nature of Love. The nature of love is the nature of God. We don’t have to feel loved, all we need is to trust in His word and His profession of love He splatters over the pages of the Bible. 

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – NKJV).
 
Did you get that? Love is patient. God is patient. He is kind, and every other character of love stated above is HIM. Get it? Christ asked us to forgive our brother 7 times 70 times a day. And I believe that if God could ask that of us, then He would at least do the same. He cannot ask of us something He himself has not done or cannot do. So yeah, God is enduring. And all that.

The more we understand about this love of God, the more we are propelled to love Him. An active indication of not loving God is that we do NOT understand God’s love. Also, when life comes barelling at us like a raged bull, reflecting on His love keeps us. We struggle with a lot of issues because the love of God is still not real to us. For if we understood, how can we not respond favorably to a One so dear? How?

God is love and ALL that He does for us is born out of the love He has for us. It may look unloving to us, but ultimately He is loving us through the process and redefining our perception of what love really is. He is giving us Himself through and through. We may not like the process. We may bend and pass through fire.

But faith sits and watches.

She waits before the ashes.

She nods and mutters;

“It is well. Love is here.”

Side Note:

Again I sit and wonder. I cry in my heart with a desperation that I cannot contain.

'Lord, make this real to me yet!'

For if indeed I understood, would I still keep love waiting? Would I continue to gather worthless jewels while He awaits? Will I not pick up my cross and walk the path of love? Will I not be responsive?

Reality. Yes, all I need.

Reality.

**Based on the 'What I have been learning series.**

#1: On Loving God

Loving God is so beautiful. It is my duty and I have to decide to do it, consciously.

One of the most helpful things that Jesus did for us was the clarity of His teachings. He was so clear about some issues that we tend to get confused about them. Agreed, some of Jesus’ teachings, like His parables can be quite difficult to understand sometimes but most of his words were just so clear cut. I guess our confusion has to do with our tendency to want to complicate things. God is so simple we find it hard to understand him.

                                     ************************************

“…Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” Jesus replied, “The one that says, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only God. And you must love him with all your heart and soul and mind and strength.’ “The second is: ‘You must love others as much as yourself.’ No other commandments are greater than these.” The teacher of religion replied, “Sir, you have spoken a true word in saying that there is only one God and no other. And I know it is far more important to love him with all my heart and understanding and strength, and to love others as myself, than to offer all kinds of sacrifices on the altar of the Temple.” Realizing this man’s understanding, Jesus said to him, “You are not far from the Kingdom of God.” And after that, no one dared ask him any more questions. (Mark 12:26-35 – TLB)

I can almost imagine the crowds circled round Jesus, with some of them shuffling their feet awkwardly, some nodding and others just giving him a blank look as they almost asked, “That’s it?”  They probably stared at Jesus for a long time as they mentally pictured scrolls upon scrolls filled with the laws Yahweh handed to Moses, comparing all those rules with the simplicity of Jesus’ words and wondering how he could say that was all. Love.

But that is the SIMPLE truth. This is all it takes. This is all he asks of us; that we love, that we be faithful in giving our all. And considering all he has done for us, this is not too much to ask. Really. We have not been called to do anything but love. We have been called to be faithful. We have been called to walk with God and to be portals who give as we have received.

What then does it mean to love God?

First, it is a choice, as it always is with God. As much as he desires that we love him, God would not force it on us. Doing so is hardly love. How would you feel if someone came to visit you simply because they had been compelled to do so? You would rather they had stayed back! 

God created us as with freewill because he wants to delight and find pleasure in us. He desires to see us choose him. Over our fears, over our ambitions, over our desires and our desperate need for acceptance. He wants to be above all that. He wants us to choose Him. And I guess this is all it boils down to. Choosing to love with all our understanding, heart and strength.

Who do we choose? In that moment when we are torn between loyalty to God and the seductions of the enemy, who wins the bet on our lives? Do we weigh God on a scale with those enticements and shrug, deciding that after all, those things weigh more than he does? I have been thinking about this. When I open my mouth to say God is worthy, do I really mean it? Am I not weighing him with those other things and deciding that maybe, just maybe God isn’t worth as much as them?

You see, it goes beyond singing a couple of beautiful songs. I mean, I like songs. Really I do. But can we just cut out the hypocrisy a little bit? Can we allow our hearts speak before our vocal chords enter a frenzy of melodies? Can we just stop for a second to understand the meaning of the words we let spew out our lips? Is it too much to ask that we find substance to back up our words? Because words on their own are very cheap; anyone can afford them. 

So, loving God is beyond what we profess. It is beyond the fancy stickers, hashtags, lyrics and pretty words.

“Loving God means doing what he tells us to do, and really, that isn’t hard at all;” (1John 5:3 – TLB).

That’s it. It’s just so really simple. But do I get this? Do you?

So, secondly, loving God is doing what he tells us. It is doing his bidding without hesitation or regret. It is seeking to please the Father who gave his all for us. It is trusting his instructions knowing that the one who gave his very life for us has a beautiful plan in everything. It is devotion that is more than routine. It is giving our all.  It is loving people. It is worship.

It is letting go.

It is making room.

It is beautiful.

And this is what I am learning to do. Picking up my cross. Choosing this cross with joy and a sense of privilege at the beauty that I finally get to love the one who sought me out when I didn’t even care anything for him. It may seem hard (even though it really is not, “for every child of God can obey him, defeating sin and evil pleasure by trusting Christ to help him.” - 1John 5:4). It will cause me to bleed and maybe even die.

But I will choose life.

I will choose love.

Even if it means my life.

Side Note: 

It would be nice if you could pray about this.

Seriously.

**This post is based on the "What I have been learning" series.

A YEAR OF QUIET REST

Hey guys! A gracious 2016 to you. May God’s light continue to shine brighter on your path.

God has been so faithful over the years and I am expectant for a greater future. And hopefully, this time around I will be able to do something more meaningful on this blog but who knows? (No, it has nothing to do with the fact that I am only just writing my first post for the year. Don’t judge me abeg).

Alright, if you insist. Brace up for the excuses.

Number one: ………

Okay, okay. I accept your apology :/

Seriously though, I actually planned to post something earlier but you know, life. But, it was prolly more because I didn’t know what to write about. You will notice that hasn’t changed. I’ve been having this ah…block lately. But that’s what happens when a girl doesn’t write in a long time. Hmph! Serves her right.

Alright, I was thinking I’ll start something with the “What I have been learning”  series. I’ll just pick each of those items on my list and discuss. By my calculation, there are about 35 of them. This means at least 35 posts for 2016 (0__0).

Breathe.

It’s not that much of a tall order now, considering I posted 15 articles in 2015. It’s just 35 posts, how hard can that be?

I am reaallyy tempted to draw a time-table or something right now but maybe I shouldn’t. Or should I? And if you are wondering how I am going to go about this, this is how:

“The passionate commitment of the LORD of Heaven's Armies will make this happen!” (Isaiah 9:7 – NLT).

Away from blogging, I’m hoping for a lot of things this year. I did try at setting some goals and I’m trusting God’s grace will see them through. Don’t worry, I’ll share the testimony when the time comes. My watch scripture for the year? (at least for now):

“Lord, I am not proud and haughty. I don’t think myself better than others. I don’t pretend to “know it all.” I am quiet now before the Lord, just as a child who is weaned from the breast. Yes, my begging has been stilled. O Israel, you too should quietly trust in the Lord—now, and always.” (Psalm 131 – TLB).

That’s it. Quiet trust and a thorough satisfaction in God alone, no matter what.

Then and only then is He glorified.

Side Note:
What are those huge goals you’ve set for yourself this year? Why not commit them to God? For His ‘passionate commitment’ is able to see them fulfilled. And above all else, whatever happens, trust in God and be satisfied in Him.

Then is He glorified.

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS: NOTES OF A STORYTELLER

#LatePost
 
Time: Before the cock crowed twice.
Location: Somewhere in Nigeria.

I finally rise, with an alarming wealth of feeling.
I had been falling in and out of sleep as different thoughts ran through my mind.
My phone had started ringing some minutes before.
Breathe. Yes, I’m actually breathing.
Okay.
Let’s go…

Today is my birthday.

And today, however, it is with a sense of gratitude I mark this year. Songs rise in my heart in gratefulness to God. Not that you care or anything, but He has been super good and faithful to me, as is His character. I have not been an exception.

A songwriter once said, “Count your blessings, name them one by one”. And I began to wonder how realistic this was. His blessings are innumerable…how could I name them all? Well, thank God for another songwriter who also said, “What the Lord has done for me, I cannot tell it all.”

One of the songs that rocked my vocal playlist this morning was “Storyteller” by Morgan Harper Nichols feat. Jamie Grace. And for the record, that song is PHENOMENAL. She sang my heart EXACTLY. You can figure what the melons she was singing here.

Your constant love reaches above the heavens; your faithfulness touches the skies. (Psalm 108:4 - GNB).

Then there was the poem I wrote (a while back) in a feeble attempt to express God’s love in verses. I thought it was only fitting:

LOVE SONG
The cadence builds in soft rhythms
Undulating melodies gently stirring
Curl round my weary stone
Crimson is she who had been battered
Torn and scraped till she bled crimson
This stone, my bleeding heart
So, the tunes continue to rise
Building into a sweet song

The first verse is a soft whisper
It’s sonority gushing over polished pews
Flowing to dark, lonely hours
Resonating in the corners of my heart
Calling in an rousingly sweet sing-song
“Come, my love!”
I sway in almost hypnotic dances
Until I find myself at your feet
Kneeling and weeping, “Here I am.”
How I love this verse!
The one where you found me [or I, You?]
Beating drums on a resonant cross
Cooing to this infantile lass
Drawing me with your piper’s tune
To that place where only you can heal
And wrap me in your arms.

The second verse is a soft voice
Breezing gently like mild wind on a summer day
Lifting my heart to planes of passion
Awakening a hunger for more of you
“Arise, my love!”
I rise, staggering as though in a stupor
Struggling to steady feeble knees
But you remind me of your love still
How I love this verse!
The one where you find me [or I, you?]
Side by side you on a resonant cross
Pleasured by your presence on a solitary hill
Romance and intimacy that intoxicates
A place where music lacks not a voice
And you call me beautiful.

The third verse is a loud call
Yet one I oft miss for it is quiet
Stirring my feet to move in rhythm to you
A bitter-sweet melody to my heart
“Go, my love!”
I hesitantly move my heavy feet
Will I leave this hill to the crowded square?
I fear for myself yet go still
How I love this verse
The one where you find me [or I, you?]
Cut with whips of pain and love
Beaten to pulp on your resonant cross
Like fluttering birds in a hedged nest
My heart struggles to break free
As your song stirs and draws me
To that place where you are sufficient
And I am enough to be used.

The chorus is a simple, unending melody
Weaving itself through every verse
Lacing intricately in soft and loud tunes
“Your banner over me is love!”
How I love this chorus
The one where you find me [or I, you?]
It spills resonantly for all to hear
This very perfect love song.

*************************************

Side Note:
I kid you not when I tell you I literally breathed a sigh of relief this morning when I thought: I AM 20 YEARS OLD. FINALLY! 

Y’all, be not deceived, 19 is such an AWKWARD age. You are legally an adult but not really an adult when people don’t hesitate to remind you that you are after all, still a teenager. That look!

I am just reaallyy grateful I finally pulled it through the teen phase and with a story too. A colourful one, if you will. This past year was actually one of my best, and chief among the numerous things God blessed me with this year was CLARITY; at least to a considerable degree. 

I have laughed. Cried. Stood. Fallen. Won. Failed. Grown. There were times of silence. There were times of sorrow and unbelievable joy. There were times of aloneness (and maybe loneliness). And there was always Love. He was ALWAYS there. This may sound trite but I literally did NOTHING to deserve Him. I did nothing but suck and generally be an idiot. He is be-awesome (beyond awesome).

Then there were the people. Those super beautiful souls, my personal angels who God deliberately surrounded me with. Y’all are awesome. Don’t give me that look; you know yourself!

And I am sooo looking forward to this new year. I am looking forward to another year to prepare for my glorious eternity. Another year to add more stars to my crown. Another year to pant to behold His face. Another year to dream.

Hope.

Cry.

Laugh.
 
Die.
 
Live.
 
Fail.
 
Win.
 
Love.
 
See.
 
Believe.
 
Grow.
 
Be.

P.S: My birthday was yesterday.

P.P.S: A big shout-out to all who made it memorable. God bless y'all.

I HAD A DREAM

I had a dream two days ago. It was very vivid and chillingly real. I can still remember if I try.

The smell.

The sounds.

The palpable fear eating into my heart.

It sucked the very air out of my lungs and left me thoroughly deflated.

It was about the Rapture.

It had started with some flash occurrences I cannot quite place now. But after some of those events, I remember someone telling me the rapture had taken place. And all of a sudden its implication dawned on me.

I had been left behind.

I remember feeling so deflated. So incredibly sad. It was as though no ocean could carry the depth of my fear mixed with sadness and a great level of disappointment. Nothing else mattered anymore. Nothing else made sense. After all, I had missed the one event my life revolved around.

The pain was so awful. I thrashed in hysterics but could not find tears. Surprisingly, I saw some other people I did not expect still left behind. This did little to comfort me as I rolled on the floor asking God just one simple, agonized question.

Why?

Not why He come so soon but why I had not gone with him. 

Why?

I woke with a jolt and a tangible fear that made me second guess my current reality washed over me. Was it actually a dream? It was as though I had crossed the bridge between reality and illusion and was struggling to find a safe landing port back.

After that morning, I became really sober. This type of dream wasn’t the first this year and I realized that maybe I was on to something. Maybe I should not keep it in anymore.

I’m not usually one to go around spouting dramatic prophesies, but I just had to let this one out. After considering also what is going on around right now, I felt it was expedient. And in my waking moments, one thing became obvious to me;

Jesus is coming SOON.

Of course, most of us know this, we even sing it in melodic and offhanded tunes but I wonder how much of this we REALLY believe. I wonder how many of us really give this a serious thought as we go about our daily activities. 

I kept wondering why I had been left behind. Of course it was a dream but I knew i my heart it was no ordinary dream. That morning, in my QT, I kept asking. Kept praying and I got this:

"Therefore if you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead], keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value]. For you died [to this world], and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."(Colossians 3:1-4. AMP).

Somehow, we seem to have gotten so carried away with what is going on around us.We hardly ever talk about Christ's coming again. Even if we do, it would be in stilted words, and with hands fumbling over invisible threads as we try to surmount this awkward topic. And all of a sudden the initiator of such conversations get more stigma than an HIV patient. You seem like a 'kill-joy' for spouting such things.

But should this be so?

Should the thought of having our Saviour and Lord coming back for us not cause an outrageous delight in our hearts? Should we not view the things of this world with contempt in light of his inexplicable glory? Are we scared to believe? Are we scared to hope?

But hope shields.

Hope purifies.

"My dear friends, we are now God's children, but it is not yet clear what we shall become. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he really is. 3 Everyone who has this hope in Christ keeps himself pure, just as Christ is pure." (1 John 3:2-3. GNB)

I realized in that dream that although I did not get an answer to my "why", I knew I had failed the 'hope test'. The truth is that you cannot expect to just disappear into the sky when you are being carried away by something else. You cannot be raptured by Christ when you are enraptured by the world. It doesn't work that way. You have to believe. You have to live with a consciousness of His coming. You have to hope.

 

Hope shields.

Hope purifies. 

Side Note:
As part of getting ready for His coming, we need to tell every ear that cares to hear and even those who don't that Jesus is coming soon. 

Call the sinner, wake the saint, Jesus is coming soon. 

Photo credit: Lightstock

WHAT I HAVE BEEN LEARNING II

…continued...

So, in the last post, I made a 15 point list of what I have been learning lately as a challenge to myself and you to begin to take conscious and serious note of what God and life have been teaching us. They are numerous but one-step-at-a-time is my motto. Here is another list of some of my lessons.

Let’s go…

1.    God WILL do His work. Stop worrying. It is not my job to tell God how to do His. Just let go and let God be God.

2.    Oyindamola, there is a thin line between HATE and INDIFFERENCE. There is a HUGE difference between love and lust. Love is selfless, but lust is SELFISH. Love is about ‘them’ but lust is about ‘me’. Love IS God. Lust is well…SIN. 

3.    My acceptance before God is not based on what I do. It is based on His love and mercy. Thinking otherwise is an awful case of pride.
 
4.    Most of the things I call ‘personal stuff’ are actually rotten stuff about me that I don’t want people to see, so I go “…It’s personal.” (*yinmu -__-).

5.    Learn to place your priorities right. Whatever adds no value to you is just unnecessary baggage. Get rid of it.

6.    Learn to know God for yourself. To seek Him for Him and for me. Not for ANYBODY.  Hypocrisy never got anyone a medal. At least nothing eternal.

7.    Most times, I demand of people what I do not demand of myself. I place a GINORMOUS fence for them to climb while I neatly stack a couple of stones for myself to jump. This is just terrible.

8.    You don’t always have to talk. There is a thing called SILENCE. Learn it. 

9.    Marriage is not as easy as it sounds. There are starry-eyed moments alright, but boy is it serious business.

10.    Write because you have to breathe. Write because it is an obligation of the divine on you. Write because you need it more than they do. Write NOT for the accolades. Write NOT just for the self-expression. Write for the God-expression. Write when you feel like it. Write when you don’t. Write in all sorts of weird places. Write until God’s truth dawns on you like the first lights of day. Write till your limbs grow tired. Read. Read. Write. Write. LIVE and write. BE.

11.    You’re a weirdo. Maybe you should just accept it already. Own it.

12.    Stop obsessing over that girl in the mirror, she is not the real you. There is only one true mirror and that is God’s Word and what He thinks of you. Okay?

13.    Contrary to popular opinion (mine), time is not something to be trifled with. It is impatient and thoroughly stealthy. You must do what you must do like NOW.

14.    Take off your mirrored lenses. Look at people and when you do look, SEE them. Not yourself. In fact, as much as possible, eliminate the words, “I”, “me”, “my”, “myself” from your vocabulary, Oyindamola. Seriously!

15.    She who would have friends must prove herself friendly.

16.    No matter how hard you try, no matter what you eat, you will forever look lean in your mother’s eyes. So, whatever you do, DON’T LISTEN TO HER (in this case) because you’ll get extra fat and she’ll still go, "You are soo lean.”
 
17.    Ask questions till everyone concludes you are dumb.

18.    Doubt does not always mean you are faithless (?). Sometimes, it means you are still thinking and maybe that is not so bad.

19.    It is not enough to write a fancy list of stuff you have been learning. Be very deliberate. Be practical. Everyone knows these things but what makes us different is what we do with what we know.

20.    Keep learning. Keep walking. You’ll be fine.

Sigh. I hope by now you realize this transcends the lately time frame. I probably dug up some forgotten lessons from over the years. It’s cool though. It made me think and ponder what the melons I have been doing with my life.

"Anything you say to the wise will make them wiser. Whatever you tell the righteous will add to their knowledge." (Proverbs 9:9 - GNB).


SIDE NOTE:
Which of the lessons above can you relate to? What have you been learning lately? Are you taking note? What do you plan to with them? What are they?

I’d love to hear them…


GLOSSARY
*yinmu - the upward tilting of ones nose, meant to be a smirk but infinitely more loaded with an, "it's a lie" or "be deceiving yourself" intent. Something like this.


Photo credit: Pixel Creative via Lightstock

WHAT I HAVE BEEN LEARNING

I have realized something about myself. It is annoying and very unflattering. I have found that I am what I call ‘an unconscious learner’. I know a lot of things but have learned few of them. I do not apply my heart to the lessons I am taught.

Life is filled with teachers and God has graciously blessed me with them. They are people, situations that teach me, sometimes gently and quietly and other times loudly and obnoxiously. 

Mostly however, they are the storytellers who tell a tale and forget to deliberately enunciate the lessons, leaving them for me to figure out. It is my duty as a good student of life to take each of those lessons, read between the lines and ensure I apply them.

But the truth is, I AM NOT. I am a terrible student and have probably had more grace than most to have made it this far in the school. I am in fact not a willing learner. I am stiff and bent on my ways, my folly. 

A wise man once said, “Only a fool does the same things over again and expects different results.” I guess I am a classic example of that fool. A fool never learns until they’ve been burned. They never grow until they’ve been beaten. They never laugh until they have cried. 

I don’t want to be that fool anymore. I want to be wise. I want to take note of the road signs so I don’t fall into a ditch ahead. I want to consciously learn the lessons God and life have been teaching me.

So, I’m starting now, diligently copying my lessons and giving them deliberate consideration and determination to follow them through. I thought I should share them with you:

Here goes…

1. God loves me unconditionally. He loves me because He is Love and not because I am lovely.

2. Loving God is so beautiful. It is my duty and I have to decide to do it, consciously.

3. A multitude of activities doth not a success make.

4. Sin is not angering an easily enraged or indifferent God. It is spitting on the face of a loving Father and bruised Saviour.

5. I still suck even at the things I used to think I was pretty good at.

6. It is okay to say ‘no’ sometimes. In fact it is recommended I learn to do so.

7. “No, I’m not alright” is not on the list of unpardonable sins.

8. Over half the things I am taught in school have no relevance to real life. I should build my life outside the school walls now.

9. Successes in life are not unconscious learners, they deliberately take note and take notes.

10. My life will be summed up in just a few lines when I die. It is my duty to ensure I make those summarized words into heavy punch lines.

11. I cannot do everything. I cannot be all.

12. I am not the centre of the universe. God is.

13. I will not always get it right and that is okay as long as long as I am determined to get it right.

14. Learn to love beans early in life (in case I have a next life).

15. I can survive without Dodo*.

This is not all though, there is more. I will add them as they come up.

“Are you immature? Learn to be mature. Are you foolish? Learn to have sense.” (Proverbs 8:5 – GNB)


Side Note:
Are you an unconscious learner too? Do stop to take note of the lessons God and life have been trying to teach you. Which one of the lessons on my list resounded with you? What would you like to add? What have you been learning?

Glossary:
*Dodo – Fried plantain.

Photocredit: Via: Lightstock

To be continued...

GOD’S STORY

So the other day I watched a bus conductor. He hung by the door of the bus, angled slightly outward as he bellowed on the top of his voice for passengers. His crescendo undulated, rising and falling intermittently in the traffic. He looked so tired, so worn. And I wondered what his story was. Did he have dreams? Did a smile ever crack that now expressionless face? How often did it happen? What were his hopes as a child? Did he ever plan to be where he was?

Life on the whole can be pretty crappy and some things happen that make us wonder if it is even worth it. We wake, eat, work, go through routine, sleep and wake again to continue the vicious cycle. I am not about to write another book of Ecclesiastes, but my point is, life can seem meaningless. Why do we live? What do we live for? We sometimes get so caught in the middle that we feel like amateur actors in the center stage of a movie with no script or cues.

Why do we live? We laugh and the next second we cry from the very things that caused us joy. We live in a world where nobody seems to care anymore. Nobody wants to hear anybody. We are lost. Obscure even as we are in everyone’s faces. Sometimes you feel like maybe we all lost our way. Maybe we all should have been somewhere else. Then the question would be…as opposed to what? Space?

There has to be more. Routine is not what we were born for. This picture just doesn’t seem right.

As I go through the book of Genesis, particularly chapter 5, I see names, people…lives. But something struck me; I realized that each of them had a story but somehow, their stories looked so…small that it could be summarized in a verse or a few verses. The writer seemed to breeze over, a procession of names and few-line stories. Whoever they were, their whole book appeared to be sufficient for only a few lines. And even those few verses would go along the lines of:

“When Kenan had lived 70 years, he became the father of Mahalel. And after he became the father of Mahalel, Kenan lived 840 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Kenan lived 910 years, and then he died.” (Genesis 5:12-14)

What a biography! For nine-hundred and ten good years! We don’t even know what he did. All we know is he spent 910 years breathing, making children and…dying. And he wasn’t the only one. Obviously, I know the writer of Genesis couldn’t possibly tell us all they did with their lives. But there should be more.

“And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters, altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. Enoch walked with God, then he was no more because God took him away.” (Genesis 5:22-24).

I am amazed at this. Why? Because Enoch seemed to have accomplished more in his 365 years than the other people did in over 900 years. Even in the probability that the writer was struggling with space, he could not pass over this significant detail of Enoch’s life.

I have one major fear. I fear that I would be ordinary. I fear that I would not be that person whose story is ridden in so much awesomeness. Who doesn’t? But the truth is, we all have a story, every one of us. But your story or how it is told is defined by who holds the pen. If you choose to hand it over to a writer with an absolute lack of imagination (like yourself), what right has your story to be anything less than boring? A one-line diatribe?

Enoch understood this and so he wisely handed God not just his pen but his hand as they walked into the sunset, littering the pages of Enoch’s life with beauty, a grand work of art. Yours doesn’t have to be a story the whole world knows, but it should be one that fulfils God’s purpose for your life. It should be a life where you die EMPTY, knowing:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”(2 Timothy 4:7).

A life that disappoints the grave because it has nothing give it. A life that has given all there could possibly be. A life that fought to the last irrespective of its length.

It is true we all have struggles, true it can never be easy. It is also true that a manufacturer alone understands why and how he made a car. Life doesn’t have to be a routine or a list of meaningless pain or pure purposelessness.  It is more, irrespective of our hurt and wars.

But no matter who we are, where we have been or what demons we fight, we owe it to not just ourselves but to God and indeed our world to tell a story. It is one thing we all have but the extent to which we are able to draw people to it and not bore them or make them shake their heads in pity when our stories are told, is the extent to which we really live.

Open the book.

And hand God the pen.

It would be hard. It would be tough. It would take the very essence of who we are. But in the end it would be God’s story told in us. And it would be worth it.

Side Note: 

There is more to life than the routine we tend to fall into. Life can be abundant and overflowing and it can only be found in Jesus. Give Him your pen. He alone can write that best seller with your life. 

Much love!

ODE TO THE KING

Fiery is He that walks on cloud
Storming in strong winds loud
Open the gates for the King
Swing the lyre and let praises ring
   
Mighty is He that steps in the battle
Wielding nothing and burning fettle
The Sun he holds in His fist
Burning its flames into a mist

Awesome is He who made all things
Never lacking in creative capacities
Creation will bow at His feet in worship
Dancing around and around at His feet

Gracious is he who made the air
Releasing torrents to all; wicked and fair
Never giving a dime of what we deserve
Gently he leads, tenderly He carves.

Loving is He who hung upon a tree
Releasing all bond slaves free
Curled like a serpent on a prophet’s pole
Stretched taut, a sinless soul.

Ode to the King, Ode to He
Ode to the Father who made me
Pour your scented oil at His beautiful feet
There you’ll find me, there we’ll meet.

OBSESSING BLESSING

My generation is obsessed with blessings and it doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. All you have to do is take a not-so-critical observation of how we pray and think. It’s in our every proclamation. Pouring out from every pulpit and sucked in with desperation from every pew.

Whoever you are, no matter how terribly blasé, villainous or tightly conservative you may be, you just laave blessings.

Admit it.

I do. A lot. But, at a point in my life, along with figuring out life isn’t a fairy tale after all, I also discovered something else; blessing is a vague thing. I mean I know it’s a good thing but what exactly is it? And the dictionary made this even worse for me by providing not less than four definitions for blessing.

But I also saw how people defined it;

“Look at that fine, young man, he just got a high-paying job, an expensive car and a big house on the island.” Sigh. “He is soo blessed.”

“My cousin is seventy and retired. All her kids are educated, married and have kids of their own. She and her husband recently celebrated their anniversary at the Bahamas.” Insert nod. “God has really blessed her.”

“You know Sarah? Yeah, she graduated with a first class. Such a smart, beautiful girl. Now, she’s getting married to Bill Gates’ son. That girl is so blessed.”

“I just got a scholarship to Harvard. Gosh, I am soo blessed!”

You get the picture? When a person is somehow fortunate to have things that bring physical comfort, we nod our heads and call them blessed. Favored. Happy. 

Prosperous.

Probably, but then it gets more confusing with the whole prosperity gospel going on in our churches today. Immediately the Pastor pronounces a blessing on you, he quickly proceeds with a succession of money, favor, health, connections, marriage, kids, yadda yadda pronunciations to accompany it. You can only make one conclusion.

But, the other day I was studying the Bible and I was shocked.

The people Jesus described were the poor (in spirit), the bereaved, the docile, those who were hungry and thirsty, the generally “too nice” guys who knew nothing, had nothing and sought nothing but God. They were the ones who were constantly spat on, degraded, lied about and generally hated to an unbearable point.

Jesus, after making a very thorough and sincere analysis of these guys, could only nod his head and say, “Blessed!”

Honestly, these people do not seem so blessed to me. They seem…miserable. Wretched. In fact, if they were from my part of the world, my people will call them accursed. “Dem don dey follow am for him village,”(a) they would say while they nod their heads sagely and pretend to throw spittle on the ground.

It just doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. Like:

“I am such a horrible mess. I can’t do anything right. I’m at the end of my rope. All I need is God” Sigh. “I’m so blessed!”

“I’ve lost a lot. I am so grieved right now.” Sniff. “How blessed I am!”

“My boss just laid me off for singing Don Moen. What a blessing!”

“Did you see the new ISIS video with those Syrian Christians getting their heads chopped off?” Sigh. “Such blessed people!”

“My class mates hate me. They keep calling me a witch with a fish brain. In fact, Leah slapped me yesterday for trying to preach to her.” Smile. “I’m crazy blessed!”
 
Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? It makes no sense. At least no common sense. But that is what God tells us. So, what exactly is blessing? I’m not sure I know yet, but going back to the Attitude guys, we find out that there was something about them. During the process of their general misery (from the world’s assessment), they get a huge deal in return. And this makes me think that maybe the blessing is in this.

And it wasn’t just about the fact that they were heaven-bound and had a reward from God. No. there was so much more.

They all got God.

In their moments of woe and desolation; whether as a Missionary in a far out rural area with little money. Or as a young orphan struggling to get by in a hell-hole. A young Christian trying so hard not to fit in…there was that uttermost and high state of bliss, rapture and beatitude. That unfurling peace and joy, that beautiful embrace and joyful assuredness of knowing;

He is here.

I am not alone.

I am His!

He is mine.

When you have the Master of all creation, the God of the Universe, the Love Himself, the Supreme commander of all as your Lord and Saviour, how can you want more?

And this, is the real blessing!

Are you blessed?

Side Note:
Have I disputed the place of material blessings? Nope. It will in fact result from the real blessing...but for a purpose.  It's important we know that it is not the real definition of blessedness from God's perspective. Never forget that.

Stay blessed!

Glossary:
a - "Dem don dey follow am for him village."
Literal meaning: He is being followed by his kindred.
Translation: He is under a spell.