#4 - On Sin and Sinning

Sin is not angering an easily enraged or indifferent God. It is spitting on the face of a loving Father and bruised Saviour.

 

There are many things that draw out controversy and one of such is the topic of sin. In fact, the topic of sin is soo awkward that it is literally a conversation killer. Like if you just WANT to end a conversation flow in a mixed (READ: nonreligious) crowd, just chip in something like this:

“Sooo, what do you guys think of pre-marital sex.”

Silence.

A cough.

Then a brave soul.

“Errm…well. It’s bad?”

That’s it. You have effectively ended the conversation coming at your direction (this is a bonus tip for anyone who wants to learn how to survive in socially awkward situations. You’re welcome). It is easier and less awkward to talk about the weather and the news than it is to talk about sin.

Why? Because we all either sin, will sin or have sinned. And let’s be honest, it is easier to talk about how clear the sky is today than to talk about ME and my failings. If it didn’t rain today or if the dollar rate has risen, it was the weather or President Buhari that failed. Not me.

But when it is sin, I have to put myself in that awkward position of scrutiny. And when confronted with it, I shuffle my feet, study a particularly fascinating pattern on my skirt, shrug in a let’s-look-flippant way and mutter, “Well, I…err…struggle…sometimes.”

But the truth is, the topic of sin is so crucial that we should always want to talk about it. This topic was so important that three chapters into the first book of the Bible, it shows up and from there everything got disrupted and it started showing up more often than we would have liked. In fact, as I was recently going through the history books of the Bible, I got a good sense that Sin was the central theme.

But, what is sin?

This question is probably a no-brainer since we all seem to know what sin is but I think a large portion of us are more ignorant on this topic than we care to admit. Because 80 percent of the time when I ask this question in a religious crowd, I get something along the lines of: "It is anything you do that is against God's commandment." While this is true in some sense, it is not essentially how God sees sin.

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” (Revelation 4:11 – KJV)

When God made the world and all that is in it, He did so with some intent in His heart. He made everything beautiful and holy but then sin walks in and messes the whole thing up. Sin is not essentially the action, sin is the intent. It is a nature. It is losing God in the knowledge of what we do.It is either being blind or blindfolded (depending on what side of the coin you fall). It is having SERIOUS loyalty issues. It is not coming up against God’s law. It is coming up against God Himself.

We were made for GOD’S pleasure. We were made for Him, not for ourselves. The second we step outside this ideal and start pleasing ourselves, WE SIN. Therefore, anything I do that is outside God’s pleasure IS SIN. It doesn’t matter if it is on the list of good deeds, if it is not FOR God, then well, yeah, sin wins.

I guess you would already be shaking your head thinking, “How can this be possible? It is so hard. How do I even know what God wants anyways?” This begins to give us a sense that we are in an impossible situation here. The nature of sin in us, the one we are used to is one that is alien to God, by nature opposed to Him and all that He is. We may be moralists for a while, but even in that, the ultimate intent remains to promote ourselves, making it sin.

We need a miracle.

Then, (*drum roll*) enter Jesus! He comes in and saves us from this impossible fix by his suffering on the cross and subsequent resurrection, effectively dealing with our sins and the nature of sin in us, through our belief. He doesn’t bother with plucking out the fruits but roots out the tree from the very ground it stands. He gives us the nature where, as Ezekiel 36:27 puts it “I will put my Spirit in you and make you eager to obey my laws and teachings.”

That’s one side of the coin.

The other part is this: Christians still sin. A lot. It is a reality that we face because we live in a fallen world and a body so used to sin. Now, here’s where I make my point (the lesson I’m learning). When I sin as a Christian, I effectively spit upon my Saviour’s face. I turn against him and his death. Because sin is EVERYTHING he died for. My sin was so serious it caused the very God of the universe HIS LIFE. 

It wasn’t just a little prank I played or a joke I didn’t mean, it was deadly and caused God’s son His LIFE. And I’m not just talking about giving His life on the cross, but also living for 33years or so in a depraved world without sinning. It is so serious that Jesus said I would be better off sawing my arm off or plucking my eyes out than to sin. Therefore, I have to lose the consciousness of this to sin. I have to lose sight of the cross, the price of my sin, turn my back on Him; the Father who gave all for me.

I have taken His gift for granted. I have walked away from His table and gone to feed on dirt. I have walked with blindfolds. I have hurt God. I have angered God. I have disappointed God. I have hurt myself.
 
He doesn't find this amusing.

It is very serious.

And this is how He sees sin in me.

Sometimes, I thoughtlessly do some things and forget this truth. Why can’t I be more conscious of the cross? Living a crucified life is a liberating one. But it demands from me. It demands that I leave my all, my ideals, my LIFE on His altar. That I DIE. But no one wants to die right?

And herein lies the fix. Herein lies victory.

The Cross.

Side Note:

“Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete.” (Ephesians 4:30 – TLB)
 
Alright, I have said what I think know sin is.

So, what is your definition of sin?


Side Side Note:

Oh, and a book I will totally recommend for you on this topic is "The Smell of sin and the Fresh air of Grace" by Don Everts.

You could check the link or contact me if you'd like a copy.  





*Based on the "What I have been learning" series.

ODE TO THE KING

Fiery is He that walks on cloud
Storming in strong winds loud
Open the gates for the King
Swing the lyre and let praises ring
   
Mighty is He that steps in the battle
Wielding nothing and burning fettle
The Sun he holds in His fist
Burning its flames into a mist

Awesome is He who made all things
Never lacking in creative capacities
Creation will bow at His feet in worship
Dancing around and around at His feet

Gracious is he who made the air
Releasing torrents to all; wicked and fair
Never giving a dime of what we deserve
Gently he leads, tenderly He carves.

Loving is He who hung upon a tree
Releasing all bond slaves free
Curled like a serpent on a prophet’s pole
Stretched taut, a sinless soul.

Ode to the King, Ode to He
Ode to the Father who made me
Pour your scented oil at His beautiful feet
There you’ll find me, there we’ll meet.

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN

 #LatePost

I shouldn’t feel this way. I know. I am a Christian for Christ’s sake. Or at least I like to think I am. I close my eyes, open my mouth and try to express what I feel, or don’t feel. But Nada. Zilch.

Nothing.

I should pray. I know I should, because I am a Christian. I am supposed to pray! Prayer is what we do. But I just don’t feel like it. I’m serious.

I don’t feel like praying.

And that is the problem. Has been for a while. Of course this should not be expected of me. I should be able to roll off my bed with the first thing on my mind being God and talking with him. But now I wake with a certain kind of…trepidation. Like, “Here we go…”

I say ‘trepidation’ because I hate routine. I like doing the right thing but I hate doing it dutifully. It makes me hate myself because I feel…passionless. Then I start feeling sad for hating myself. And then guilt sets in, going on in a vicious cycle.

So, yes, trepidation. Days have gone when I felt that way.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I still love God. Very much. But it’s more like me saying, “I really, really do love my Mum but I just don’t feel like talking to her. I just prefer we sit side by side in silence.”

It happens in relationships right? You just want to enjoy the person’s presence.

But you see, it doesn’t work that way with God. Because for starters, I can’t even feel his presence, how then can I enjoy it? Secondly, I really need to pray…especially now, with all that’s going on.

Sigh.

The silence is unbearable. I don’t say anything and neither does He and somehow this makes me mad. Why won’t you say something? Why do I have to be the one to initiate the conversation?
 
I’ve always been one of those Christians who believe in prayer and it became really alarming when this went on for a few days. So, after a lot of pep talk, from me (and God?), I finally decided to pray.

“Our Father who art…” I say but slowly drift off. I gave it another shot and this time tried not to pay attention to how dry and frigid my voice sounded even to my own ears. It felt…forced.

I mentally threw my hands up in defeat.

“Lord, this isn’t working and we both know it,” I say.

But what has to be done has to be done, so after several minutes of rambling and carrying on with my routine, I decided I had satisfied my conscience. Or maybe not. And this went on for days.

It’s not like I don’t know I should pray. Like I said, I believe so much in prayer not just because people say so but because, I’m telling you, I have tasted its power and beauty.

I have had times when God showed forth for me at the nick of time or even before time because of prayers. I have received strength and refreshing waters in the place of prayer. I have seen it at work. So, why can’t I just pray?

It’s like every time I close my eyes to pray, my brain starts bustling with things to do yet I know every bustling outside God is just busy nothing. I tried. I promise, I really tried. But it was not a discipline issue this time. No. there was something more, keeping me from reaching that beautiful place of fellowship with God. And I didn’t know what, I just was not feeling it.

And then it hit me.

“We walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7 _ NIV)

I realized then that I was basing my connection with God on how I felt at that moment instead of allowing faith shape my perception of God. And a lot of this goes on in our generation. We are so in touch with the physical, basing everything on what we can see, smell, taste, hear or feel. But that is the problem because God does not dwell in the physical.

We worship and communicate with God in the Spirit because He is Spirit. He is our Father in Heaven who we don’t see and want to communicate with. Our emotions have no place in this.

Pay attention: Prayer is NOT about how you feel. Got it?

Of course it would sometimes come to a point where God rubs on us so much that it overflows to our emotions. But, it does not begin there.

Get this straight. Passion and feeling in prayer does not begin with the emotions. It begins with following God in blind-eyed faith before the manifestation of anything physical. Go and check, those who encountered God in such awesome ways in the Bible began with a step in faith.

So it means that at that point you don’t feel like praying, that is the best time to pray because you pray in the Spirit and not by feeling (sight, emotion, flesh).

Immediately I had this understanding, I ran straight for God. At first it seemed like a repetition of the same ol’, but I pressed for more. I pressed, bearing in my heart that I have a Father in Heaven who is just waiting for me to speak. I pressed till I was so completely immersed I didn’t even realize it.

It was a wonderful feeling. But it didn’t begin with the feeling.

Another tip: When you just don’t feel like praying, go to God’s word. Allow his voice soak you through His word. It spurs you to pray.

Pray God’s word to him.

And yes, you’ll need lots of discipline too.

So, are you ready? Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and say,
“My Father, who art in Heaven…”

Side Note:
I'm sure by now you've noticed this is a favorite topic of mine; prayer. And in all my goodness, I have decided to spare you the pain of having to point out the obvious. So, yeah, it is a topic of particular fascination to me...the ability to communicate with the divine.

And I've read a few books on this. Will probably do a book review on my top 5 books on prayer sometime.

VAIN BABBLINGS

I want to rant. And why not? It’s the fastest, easiest and most effective way to get your message across especially when people just would not pay attention. Then, place it on some obscure blog in the tangled mess that is the web for better effect. Works wonders. Right?

Okay, so that’s probably very inaccurate but what can a girl do?

There’s a certain disturbing practice that goes on in Christianity today, it’s so disturbing and so predictable that Jesus had to send us the red light beforehand, like, “I know you’re going to do this but before you do, here’s a tip…” I'm by all means guilty of this also.

I remember growing up in church, we were always asked to pray and boyy did I dread those Sunday schools. This isn’t the disturbing part. Wait for it.

See, we’d be asked to pray for a long time and well, since there are only so many words in an average nine-year old’s vocabulary, we quickly run out of what to say to God. What do we do? We recycle. Repeat some words and phrases – e.g. “Amen”, “Jesus”, “Help us”, “Please”, “Do this oh, Lord”, “Bless us, Lord”... the list goes on – as many times as humanly possible so we can improve our “time with God”.

Courtesy: flickr.com

Now, this isn’t even the major disturbance. Nope. It gets worse when adults – grown-up adults (forgive the tautology, but this is still a rant) – repeat the words in prayers for effect. I mean, really now. How short of words can we get?

Then, there’s the Church. When prayers get intense, we kick, yell, stamp around and repeat words in rapid successions (here’s a classic; “Shout Jesus seven times” or “Shout Amen three times”). I did these a lot. Church taught me but then I came across this scripture;

“But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” (Jesus, in Matthew 6:7-8).

For starters, God is not deaf! Neither is he like that old man across our street whom we have to yell a sentence more than a few times before his ears can pick the signal. I mean, even if we thought He was, why not use sign language or something? Really, who do we think we are yelling at?

Secondly, God is not forgetful. We don’t have to repeat instructions (yes, that’s what we do half the time – give instructions) to Him because we’re scared He’ll forget. If we do that to humans, not to God.

Third, how many of us, when talking to our very-undeaf, very-attentive friend repeat a sentence or phrase over and again or in between sentences have to keep yelling his/her name while s/he has their eyes and ears glued to us? Really? You do? You need to change your friends.

If not then why do this to God, especially after we agreed that prayer is communication, people?

Lastly, and most importantly, how annoying do you think it is when a person keeps telling you something you already know? God knows us, my friend. He knows our needs. We don’t have to repeat them to Him before He gets it. Because really, he gets it!

And while we’re on that, I didn’t say we should not tell God what we want…noo!! In fact, He instructed we ask! Yet, I don’t think it’s nice when we do things to God we cannot accept or do even to ordinary men. It just goes to show how we view God. Yes, that’s all it boils down to. Our view of God. A God inattentive, unknowing, unreachable.

Maybe it's high time we took a serious look at the Gospels. We shouldn’t repeat our words to God. But then again, don’t go looking around your Webster’s when you want to pray! -__-

Think conversation! Think fellowship, my friend!

“And when you pray, do not heap up phrases (multiply words, repeating the same ones over and over) as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” (Matthew 6:7-11 – Amplified Bible). 

Need I say more?

Side note:
I told you this was a rant.
Do things like these occur in your church? Tell me about them. Come on, humour me…

Just for the fun of it ;) - campusdiaries.com

HE WASN’T KIDDING! (II) – Wow!

 

There are a handful of things I could say I have learned from kids, that is, when I allowed myself look beyond the gurgles and wailings to the true essence of innocence, beauty and…wonder. A few of these I could see reflected directly in scripture’s directives.

One of them is WONDER. There was a time my little cousin was fascinated by butterflies. Most kids would squeal and run in circles when they saw one. Not my cousin. If he was squealing or running in circles, it was because he was too excited and wanted to catch the critter. He would “ooh!” and “aah!” all over, much to my irritation. I mean jeez, it was just a butterfly. Who stands wide-eyed at a flappy critter? Apparently, he did.

I am not wide-eyed.

And I say that with all sense of pride and smugness. Life and society have taught me to be practical. You are not a “village” girl. Staring wide eyed at city lights and buildings. Practicality…down-to-earth. It’s the stuff of sophistication and well…maturity. Of course, there are some occasions when I see something and go, “wow”, like say a technology or an art. But only those things I can understand, at least to the extent where I know it must have cost a lot to make it that “wow” inspiring. If God is too awesome for us, we’d probably probe and prod till we lose the stars in our eyes. We run to science to explain the phenomenon behind it. As if to say, “How dare You do something so amazing I can’t understand?” 

God is great, I say that all the time. But somehow it has grown so…familiar. Yeah, God parted the sea for His children to walk through, so what? It sounds cool but I wouldn’t allow myself drool all over my Bible because of it. He is God. He is expected to do these things, right? Besides, I’ve heard that a dozen plus times.

He stills the sun, he roars in lightening and cloud, formed the world in six days,  he walks on water, restores unseeing eyes, he multiplies loaves of bread…litters the pages of the Bible with awe-inspiring exploits and still manages to be everywhere at the same time. Yet, somehow I do not see the wonder in this. My eyes don’t grow wide, I don’t gasp and mouth “wow” in amazement, my mouth doesn’t go agape. It doesn’t occur to my slow brain and familiar heart that THIS IS NOT NORMAL. People don’t generally go about doing these kinda stuff.

“Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive and accept and welcome the kingdom of God like a little child [does] positively shall not enter it at all” (Jesus in Mark 10:15 – AMP)

But somehow I could feel God pulling my heartstrings with his word. He tells me to receive his kingdom like a child, first with blind-eyed belief, then with wide-eyed wonder and finally with open arms. JUST LIKE A CHILD. A child who somehow thinks everything is fascinating. A child who isn’t too familiar with the wonders of God. A child who would stop to stare at the vastness of the sky and cry, “look!”,  a child who jumps in excitement to see a bird. 

I’m not awesome, He is. He gracefully and powerfully causes His enemies to bow, He paints the sky with elegant and fluid strokes, splattering His nature all over for us to see, He provides meals from the sky, heals the sick, changes the heart of people.

Hangs on the cross.

He is awesome. And he has called me to receive the beauty of His kingdom. He didn’t call me to probe it. But to stand and watch with wide eyed wonder and parted lips at his bruised battered face, bloodied body on a wooden cross till I cannot but fall to my knees in worship. He has called me to the very Kingdom He purchased for me with his punctured hands, those same mighty hands that formed me…that same heart that loves me.

I am called to receive, called to accept, called to welcome. If the call was in a still small voice pulling my heart or in a thunderous voice accompanied by lightening, it is not my duty to probe it but to stand in wonder and brokenness and simply whisper, “Yes, Lord.” 

God wants me to worship Him in the beauty and wonder of His holiness and mightiness. His deeds and works should elicit wonder. His kingdom should not be one I take lightly because I’ve heard it a trillion times. His Kingdom should be one where its sheer beauty, power and righteousness causes me to be awed. 

  

I should receive His kingdom with a WOW!

"Let be and be still , and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!" (Psalm 46:10 - AMP)

Side note: When last have you allowed yourself give the skies more than just a passing glance? When last did you let out a shout of amazement because the wonders of God cannot be contained? When last did you wonder about the hand of God in a person?

Well, the other day, I was walking home and I was able to capture the sky on camera;

God is awesome.

Photo credit: via Lightstock

HE WASN’T KIDDING! (I) - Faith like a child

I love children. It is an affection that has spurred me to study every fascinating detail of them.  I love their big, bright eyes, their cute gurgles, their endless ramblings on related and unrelated topics, their smell, their naughtiness, their cute and funny repartees, their cute little toes and fingers. Their ignorance.

But as much as I love kids, I do not admire them. How could I? I mean, they are KIDS. One of the greatest insults I thought I could ever get as a very grown girl from a person was when they looked me square in the eyes and allowed, “You’re acting like a child!” drop from their mouth. Now, I consider myself a quite genial person but maan, call me a kid and my head could heat up. I avoided this like the plague, had spent almost my whole life trying to prove it.

I AM NOT A CHILD. 

 

It became my favorite mantra, a sword I would wield in anyone’s face as soon as I saw any red lights screaming, “Kid-accusation alert!” The rules were formed, I didn’t have to try so hard, society and conventions defined them.

RULE NO. 1: BE INDEPENDENT

I adopted this rule as often as I could. 

Mum: “You should not do this like this. Here, let me help you”

Me: “Ugh! No, Mum! Geez, I’m not a child!”

This was the format of me and my Mum’s arguments as I grew to be a teenager. I could do stuff myself. I didn’t need anyone to teach me or help me (especially the ones I thought I could well handle). I prided myself in this. I thought it was a very…mature way of thinking.

And it wasn’t surprising when I and God started having these arguments too. ”Lord, I know I need you but surely there has to be SOMETHING I can do myself!”

Plus, I am a very rational human being. I don’t believe in Santa Clause, nor the man in the moon. I know everyone isn’t perfect, so I never trust them. If God says I’ll do" A", boy it has to be censored by my high-beam-lie-detecting equipment. "Did he really mean that?" I think too much. And that is a good thing. Right?

But as always, God has a way of bursting my painfully inflated bubbles.

“I assure you, anyone who doesn't have their kind of faith will never get into the Kingdom of God." (Mark 10:15-16 – NLT)

Annnd…there goes my bubble!

Jesus dropped the bomb in carefully succinct words. So short, with no parables of any sort, that it is soo easy for us, rational-independent adults to miss.

Independent. Reasonable. These are words we love to be described by, but Jesus sunk our boats on this one. He never told us to be super strong, independent and rational. Nope, He asked us to be like a child. Kids aren’t independent or rational. They are clingy and completely unreasonable. No way was I having them as my role model. BUT, THAT IS WHAT JESUS EXPECTS! 

He expects that when He tells me He’d do something as ridiculous as say…sanctify me and make me (ME, you guys!) like himself, I should just believe Him and hang to His every word. No questions or theories to explain whether he will or how he will. He expects that I cling to Him for my EVERY need including the ones I feel I am big enough to handle…like say, making my own decisions. That’s the difference, a child would believe anything his/her parents tell him/her, even something as ridiculous as talking donkeys. 

 

This picture of helplessness, gullibility and unshakable trust is what God wants. It trumps all my fancy "miss-independent-and-rational" fumes out the window. Funny how He seeks the little things. He doesn’t need my big muscled faith, he wants my quiet tiny mustard seed. He wants me to trust in Him like a child with wide eyed belief and no specs of suspicion, rationality or doubt. 

He assures me that EXCEPT I receive him in child-like faith, I CANNOT see the Kingdom. Thus, you should know He was pretty serious. So, when Jesus said, “BE LIKE A KID,” HE WASN’T KIDDING! It was with a straight, un-laughing face. He wants me to continually look to Him with outstretched arms and wide, believing eyes. Seriously.

"Yes, I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in me and I in him shall produce a large crop of fruit. For apart from me you can't do a thing.” (John 15:5 – TLB).

How helpless and gullible are you?