JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL...OH REALLY?

“…In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.”

You remember "Jesus take the wheel" by Carrie Underwood? Yeah. It's a really pretty song. But then I started to wonder if I could rewrite it. If I did, it would go along the lines of

"Jesus take the wheeeel!
Take it from my hands
While I give you instructions
I'm not really letting go
Give me hundred more chances
Save me from this road I'm on...
Jesus take the wheel... "

Okay so I admit it will not be a very pretty song. But it'll be pretty accurate. At least for me. I would sing it at the top of my lungs, unmindful of musical murder. Why? Because that is my confession.

Alright, so you were finally able to convince your Mum, after several months of shameless persistence to allow you drive. She gives that exasperated sigh of one who is left with no more choice while she haltingly hands you the keys. So, off you go, taking possession of the wheels with your Mum sitting beside you while she allows you drive.

Yayy!

But you've barely gone several meters before she's twisting in her seat, barking instructions at you:

"Watch that pothole!”
“Swerve to the right"
"Not so fast!"

And naturally you want to remind her you’re not blind. Because, you see, you are at the wheels, but you’re not really driving. She is.

Reminds me of me.

I have been at the wheel of my life for so long that I almost forgot how to relinquish control, but it doesn’t take me too long to realize that I suck as a driver and here is Jesus, offering to take control of the wheels. After a lot of hesitation, I decided that maybe surrender isn’t so bad. It’s even a command. So, I hand him the keys and scoot to the passenger seat.

He is at the wheels and I would like to say I have fully surrendered all. Maybe I have.

Or not.

"Lord, do you think you could umm...hit the gas? You are going a little too slow"
"Lord, this is not the road. It's too rough. We should've followed the highway. "
"Lord, watch that pothole.”
“Lord, I’m not sure I could do that.”

We say we have surrendered. Yet there are still parts of our lives we would like to protect and explain away on grounds of temperament, background and so on. Parts of our lives we would like to own. Control is a human thing. It’s something we never want to lose. We all want to feel some level of control in our lives. We hate being helpless. Yet, God demands this of us. He demands full consecration. He demands full surrender.

He demands ALL of you.

“Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple.” (Jesus, Luke 14:33_The Message).

God doesn’t demand much of us but that we give Him our all. He deserves it because he gave us his all. He desires that we rest back in our seats and allow him drive. Simply put, follow him.

But how can you surrender to someone you do not trust? How can you fully surrender when your surrender stops short of the “I suck as a driver” realization? How can total surrender come when our motives are not fully aimed at God alone? How can we surrender to a God we feel will whip us the minute our hands are up?

How can we surrender when we are not aching to see His glory but ours?

The truth is, we cannot. Total surrender is born, not of a mere realization that God can do it better. But is born of wanting all of God as much as he wants all of us. Trusting. Letting go. Aching for him so much that we let the reins slip easily off our fingers because we realize we cannot hold all of Him – his might, love, power – and still hold on to our control.

It just doesn’t work.

It is harder than it sounds. But why not start where you are? Begin by not giving him instructions then work your way, with every step of grace, to that place of full surrender.

So, I would again have to rewrite the song…then I’ll have something like this;

"Jesus take the wheeeel!
Take it from my hands
And put a tape duct on my mouth
I'm now letting
I’ll give you full control
Save me from this road I'm on...
Jesus take the wheel... "

Sigh. Okay, yes. It will still suck as a song. But it’ll be pretty accurate.

And it will be my confession.

Side note:
I'm recruiting back up singers for my own version of "Jesus take the wheel" (The latter one now).
So, what do you say? You in?

Photo credit: via Lightstock

FORGETFUL ME

Yesterday was my birthday and it’s just so amazing how time imperceptibly tip toed past my beclouded – and yes, bespectacled – eyes. Eyes that were so busy roving over history books of yesterdays, clouded by the past that they forgot to see time dancing past.
 

I am particularly big on history. I believe, for one, that if we want to move ahead in the future and not make the mistakes we did in the past, there is a need to dust up our books and take stock. That sounds like a perfectly logical thing to do. Right?

Which was why yesterday, I decided to settle down and think of my past. I thought of my childhood (*smug smile* yes, I said childhood), my teenage years (ok, don’t roll your eyes now – I meant the major parts) and my…now. From where I sat on my bed that morning, the view looked very colourful, with some white, black, red, green and even grey areas. 

At that point I got confused; what part do I focus my lens on, really? Those times when I did things I wasn’t so proud of? Or those ones where I could beat my puffed up chest? Either way the lens went, one thing was evident, there was no helping my future with this. I tried so hard to spot mistakes and think up new strategies to advance. Nada. Zilch. Nothing! I tried resolutions and wishing lists. Didn’t work. Because somewhere in my heart I couldn’t find a motivation, a springboard to hop on to my new year.

I kept searching.

And searching….

Then it hit me! 

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19 - NIV)

I finally got it. God is doing something new! He is making ways and springing upwelling of waters. This is the trend. And He’s calling me, drawing my attention and wondering how I could be so alarmingly obtuse. “I’m doing it! Open your eyes and see it. Perceive it. Don’t be so insensitive”. There is relief for me in this arid place. There are spurts of revitalizing waters in this desert but somehow I couldn’t see it and God’s gift to me is this, “Look!”

But there is a problem.

The new is great and exciting. It is all I want and all I look forward to, old news is getting boring and frustrating. But there’s more to this promise than just looking and seeing it. To enter my brand new future, there has to be a “letting go”. I need to forget the past, no matter how ugly and frayed or how sparkly and glorious because going over history will keep me from the new, it would build a misty cloud over my eyes so I miss my “new” twirling past me.

 “No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work clothes; you want fabrics that match. And you don’t put wine in old, cracked bottles; you get strong, clean bottles for your fresh vintage wine. And no one who has ever tasted fine aged wine prefers unaged wine.” (Luke 5:36 – The Message).

So, no matter how much I fancy my old clothes, there is no patching them up with the new silk. Nope. God would not build a new skyscraper on an old foundation, he would not make do with the old. He would not build on my yesterday. I have to forget the past. Forget it and how comfortable it is, forget how cozy its familiarity feels, forget its glories and shame. Everything.

I’m dropping my thick-leather-back history tome, placing it in a fancy chariot and hurling it at a 60 degree tangent straight into the Red Sea; chariot and all.

I’m turning my back.

 

And I’m getting forgetful.

That. Is. My. Happy Birthday.

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” (Isaiah 43:19 – The Message Bible).