WHAT I HAVE BEEN LEARNING II

…continued...

So, in the last post, I made a 15 point list of what I have been learning lately as a challenge to myself and you to begin to take conscious and serious note of what God and life have been teaching us. They are numerous but one-step-at-a-time is my motto. Here is another list of some of my lessons.

Let’s go…

1.    God WILL do His work. Stop worrying. It is not my job to tell God how to do His. Just let go and let God be God.

2.    Oyindamola, there is a thin line between HATE and INDIFFERENCE. There is a HUGE difference between love and lust. Love is selfless, but lust is SELFISH. Love is about ‘them’ but lust is about ‘me’. Love IS God. Lust is well…SIN. 

3.    My acceptance before God is not based on what I do. It is based on His love and mercy. Thinking otherwise is an awful case of pride.
 
4.    Most of the things I call ‘personal stuff’ are actually rotten stuff about me that I don’t want people to see, so I go “…It’s personal.” (*yinmu -__-).

5.    Learn to place your priorities right. Whatever adds no value to you is just unnecessary baggage. Get rid of it.

6.    Learn to know God for yourself. To seek Him for Him and for me. Not for ANYBODY.  Hypocrisy never got anyone a medal. At least nothing eternal.

7.    Most times, I demand of people what I do not demand of myself. I place a GINORMOUS fence for them to climb while I neatly stack a couple of stones for myself to jump. This is just terrible.

8.    You don’t always have to talk. There is a thing called SILENCE. Learn it. 

9.    Marriage is not as easy as it sounds. There are starry-eyed moments alright, but boy is it serious business.

10.    Write because you have to breathe. Write because it is an obligation of the divine on you. Write because you need it more than they do. Write NOT for the accolades. Write NOT just for the self-expression. Write for the God-expression. Write when you feel like it. Write when you don’t. Write in all sorts of weird places. Write until God’s truth dawns on you like the first lights of day. Write till your limbs grow tired. Read. Read. Write. Write. LIVE and write. BE.

11.    You’re a weirdo. Maybe you should just accept it already. Own it.

12.    Stop obsessing over that girl in the mirror, she is not the real you. There is only one true mirror and that is God’s Word and what He thinks of you. Okay?

13.    Contrary to popular opinion (mine), time is not something to be trifled with. It is impatient and thoroughly stealthy. You must do what you must do like NOW.

14.    Take off your mirrored lenses. Look at people and when you do look, SEE them. Not yourself. In fact, as much as possible, eliminate the words, “I”, “me”, “my”, “myself” from your vocabulary, Oyindamola. Seriously!

15.    She who would have friends must prove herself friendly.

16.    No matter how hard you try, no matter what you eat, you will forever look lean in your mother’s eyes. So, whatever you do, DON’T LISTEN TO HER (in this case) because you’ll get extra fat and she’ll still go, "You are soo lean.”
 
17.    Ask questions till everyone concludes you are dumb.

18.    Doubt does not always mean you are faithless (?). Sometimes, it means you are still thinking and maybe that is not so bad.

19.    It is not enough to write a fancy list of stuff you have been learning. Be very deliberate. Be practical. Everyone knows these things but what makes us different is what we do with what we know.

20.    Keep learning. Keep walking. You’ll be fine.

Sigh. I hope by now you realize this transcends the lately time frame. I probably dug up some forgotten lessons from over the years. It’s cool though. It made me think and ponder what the melons I have been doing with my life.

"Anything you say to the wise will make them wiser. Whatever you tell the righteous will add to their knowledge." (Proverbs 9:9 - GNB).


SIDE NOTE:
Which of the lessons above can you relate to? What have you been learning lately? Are you taking note? What do you plan to with them? What are they?

I’d love to hear them…


GLOSSARY
*yinmu - the upward tilting of ones nose, meant to be a smirk but infinitely more loaded with an, "it's a lie" or "be deceiving yourself" intent. Something like this.


Photo credit: Pixel Creative via Lightstock

WHAT I HAVE BEEN LEARNING

I have realized something about myself. It is annoying and very unflattering. I have found that I am what I call ‘an unconscious learner’. I know a lot of things but have learned few of them. I do not apply my heart to the lessons I am taught.

Life is filled with teachers and God has graciously blessed me with them. They are people, situations that teach me, sometimes gently and quietly and other times loudly and obnoxiously. 

Mostly however, they are the storytellers who tell a tale and forget to deliberately enunciate the lessons, leaving them for me to figure out. It is my duty as a good student of life to take each of those lessons, read between the lines and ensure I apply them.

But the truth is, I AM NOT. I am a terrible student and have probably had more grace than most to have made it this far in the school. I am in fact not a willing learner. I am stiff and bent on my ways, my folly. 

A wise man once said, “Only a fool does the same things over again and expects different results.” I guess I am a classic example of that fool. A fool never learns until they’ve been burned. They never grow until they’ve been beaten. They never laugh until they have cried. 

I don’t want to be that fool anymore. I want to be wise. I want to take note of the road signs so I don’t fall into a ditch ahead. I want to consciously learn the lessons God and life have been teaching me.

So, I’m starting now, diligently copying my lessons and giving them deliberate consideration and determination to follow them through. I thought I should share them with you:

Here goes…

1. God loves me unconditionally. He loves me because He is Love and not because I am lovely.

2. Loving God is so beautiful. It is my duty and I have to decide to do it, consciously.

3. A multitude of activities doth not a success make.

4. Sin is not angering an easily enraged or indifferent God. It is spitting on the face of a loving Father and bruised Saviour.

5. I still suck even at the things I used to think I was pretty good at.

6. It is okay to say ‘no’ sometimes. In fact it is recommended I learn to do so.

7. “No, I’m not alright” is not on the list of unpardonable sins.

8. Over half the things I am taught in school have no relevance to real life. I should build my life outside the school walls now.

9. Successes in life are not unconscious learners, they deliberately take note and take notes.

10. My life will be summed up in just a few lines when I die. It is my duty to ensure I make those summarized words into heavy punch lines.

11. I cannot do everything. I cannot be all.

12. I am not the centre of the universe. God is.

13. I will not always get it right and that is okay as long as long as I am determined to get it right.

14. Learn to love beans early in life (in case I have a next life).

15. I can survive without Dodo*.

This is not all though, there is more. I will add them as they come up.

“Are you immature? Learn to be mature. Are you foolish? Learn to have sense.” (Proverbs 8:5 – GNB)


Side Note:
Are you an unconscious learner too? Do stop to take note of the lessons God and life have been trying to teach you. Which one of the lessons on my list resounded with you? What would you like to add? What have you been learning?

Glossary:
*Dodo – Fried plantain.

Photocredit: Via: Lightstock

To be continued...

GOD’S STORY

So the other day I watched a bus conductor. He hung by the door of the bus, angled slightly outward as he bellowed on the top of his voice for passengers. His crescendo undulated, rising and falling intermittently in the traffic. He looked so tired, so worn. And I wondered what his story was. Did he have dreams? Did a smile ever crack that now expressionless face? How often did it happen? What were his hopes as a child? Did he ever plan to be where he was?

Life on the whole can be pretty crappy and some things happen that make us wonder if it is even worth it. We wake, eat, work, go through routine, sleep and wake again to continue the vicious cycle. I am not about to write another book of Ecclesiastes, but my point is, life can seem meaningless. Why do we live? What do we live for? We sometimes get so caught in the middle that we feel like amateur actors in the center stage of a movie with no script or cues.

Why do we live? We laugh and the next second we cry from the very things that caused us joy. We live in a world where nobody seems to care anymore. Nobody wants to hear anybody. We are lost. Obscure even as we are in everyone’s faces. Sometimes you feel like maybe we all lost our way. Maybe we all should have been somewhere else. Then the question would be…as opposed to what? Space?

There has to be more. Routine is not what we were born for. This picture just doesn’t seem right.

As I go through the book of Genesis, particularly chapter 5, I see names, people…lives. But something struck me; I realized that each of them had a story but somehow, their stories looked so…small that it could be summarized in a verse or a few verses. The writer seemed to breeze over, a procession of names and few-line stories. Whoever they were, their whole book appeared to be sufficient for only a few lines. And even those few verses would go along the lines of:

“When Kenan had lived 70 years, he became the father of Mahalel. And after he became the father of Mahalel, Kenan lived 840 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Kenan lived 910 years, and then he died.” (Genesis 5:12-14)

What a biography! For nine-hundred and ten good years! We don’t even know what he did. All we know is he spent 910 years breathing, making children and…dying. And he wasn’t the only one. Obviously, I know the writer of Genesis couldn’t possibly tell us all they did with their lives. But there should be more.

“And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters, altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. Enoch walked with God, then he was no more because God took him away.” (Genesis 5:22-24).

I am amazed at this. Why? Because Enoch seemed to have accomplished more in his 365 years than the other people did in over 900 years. Even in the probability that the writer was struggling with space, he could not pass over this significant detail of Enoch’s life.

I have one major fear. I fear that I would be ordinary. I fear that I would not be that person whose story is ridden in so much awesomeness. Who doesn’t? But the truth is, we all have a story, every one of us. But your story or how it is told is defined by who holds the pen. If you choose to hand it over to a writer with an absolute lack of imagination (like yourself), what right has your story to be anything less than boring? A one-line diatribe?

Enoch understood this and so he wisely handed God not just his pen but his hand as they walked into the sunset, littering the pages of Enoch’s life with beauty, a grand work of art. Yours doesn’t have to be a story the whole world knows, but it should be one that fulfils God’s purpose for your life. It should be a life where you die EMPTY, knowing:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”(2 Timothy 4:7).

A life that disappoints the grave because it has nothing give it. A life that has given all there could possibly be. A life that fought to the last irrespective of its length.

It is true we all have struggles, true it can never be easy. It is also true that a manufacturer alone understands why and how he made a car. Life doesn’t have to be a routine or a list of meaningless pain or pure purposelessness.  It is more, irrespective of our hurt and wars.

But no matter who we are, where we have been or what demons we fight, we owe it to not just ourselves but to God and indeed our world to tell a story. It is one thing we all have but the extent to which we are able to draw people to it and not bore them or make them shake their heads in pity when our stories are told, is the extent to which we really live.

Open the book.

And hand God the pen.

It would be hard. It would be tough. It would take the very essence of who we are. But in the end it would be God’s story told in us. And it would be worth it.

Side Note: 

There is more to life than the routine we tend to fall into. Life can be abundant and overflowing and it can only be found in Jesus. Give Him your pen. He alone can write that best seller with your life. 

Much love!

ODE TO THE KING

Fiery is He that walks on cloud
Storming in strong winds loud
Open the gates for the King
Swing the lyre and let praises ring
   
Mighty is He that steps in the battle
Wielding nothing and burning fettle
The Sun he holds in His fist
Burning its flames into a mist

Awesome is He who made all things
Never lacking in creative capacities
Creation will bow at His feet in worship
Dancing around and around at His feet

Gracious is he who made the air
Releasing torrents to all; wicked and fair
Never giving a dime of what we deserve
Gently he leads, tenderly He carves.

Loving is He who hung upon a tree
Releasing all bond slaves free
Curled like a serpent on a prophet’s pole
Stretched taut, a sinless soul.

Ode to the King, Ode to He
Ode to the Father who made me
Pour your scented oil at His beautiful feet
There you’ll find me, there we’ll meet.

OBSESSING BLESSING

My generation is obsessed with blessings and it doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. All you have to do is take a not-so-critical observation of how we pray and think. It’s in our every proclamation. Pouring out from every pulpit and sucked in with desperation from every pew.

Whoever you are, no matter how terribly blasé, villainous or tightly conservative you may be, you just laave blessings.

Admit it.

I do. A lot. But, at a point in my life, along with figuring out life isn’t a fairy tale after all, I also discovered something else; blessing is a vague thing. I mean I know it’s a good thing but what exactly is it? And the dictionary made this even worse for me by providing not less than four definitions for blessing.

But I also saw how people defined it;

“Look at that fine, young man, he just got a high-paying job, an expensive car and a big house on the island.” Sigh. “He is soo blessed.”

“My cousin is seventy and retired. All her kids are educated, married and have kids of their own. She and her husband recently celebrated their anniversary at the Bahamas.” Insert nod. “God has really blessed her.”

“You know Sarah? Yeah, she graduated with a first class. Such a smart, beautiful girl. Now, she’s getting married to Bill Gates’ son. That girl is so blessed.”

“I just got a scholarship to Harvard. Gosh, I am soo blessed!”

You get the picture? When a person is somehow fortunate to have things that bring physical comfort, we nod our heads and call them blessed. Favored. Happy. 

Prosperous.

Probably, but then it gets more confusing with the whole prosperity gospel going on in our churches today. Immediately the Pastor pronounces a blessing on you, he quickly proceeds with a succession of money, favor, health, connections, marriage, kids, yadda yadda pronunciations to accompany it. You can only make one conclusion.

But, the other day I was studying the Bible and I was shocked.

The people Jesus described were the poor (in spirit), the bereaved, the docile, those who were hungry and thirsty, the generally “too nice” guys who knew nothing, had nothing and sought nothing but God. They were the ones who were constantly spat on, degraded, lied about and generally hated to an unbearable point.

Jesus, after making a very thorough and sincere analysis of these guys, could only nod his head and say, “Blessed!”

Honestly, these people do not seem so blessed to me. They seem…miserable. Wretched. In fact, if they were from my part of the world, my people will call them accursed. “Dem don dey follow am for him village,”(a) they would say while they nod their heads sagely and pretend to throw spittle on the ground.

It just doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. Like:

“I am such a horrible mess. I can’t do anything right. I’m at the end of my rope. All I need is God” Sigh. “I’m so blessed!”

“I’ve lost a lot. I am so grieved right now.” Sniff. “How blessed I am!”

“My boss just laid me off for singing Don Moen. What a blessing!”

“Did you see the new ISIS video with those Syrian Christians getting their heads chopped off?” Sigh. “Such blessed people!”

“My class mates hate me. They keep calling me a witch with a fish brain. In fact, Leah slapped me yesterday for trying to preach to her.” Smile. “I’m crazy blessed!”
 
Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? It makes no sense. At least no common sense. But that is what God tells us. So, what exactly is blessing? I’m not sure I know yet, but going back to the Attitude guys, we find out that there was something about them. During the process of their general misery (from the world’s assessment), they get a huge deal in return. And this makes me think that maybe the blessing is in this.

And it wasn’t just about the fact that they were heaven-bound and had a reward from God. No. there was so much more.

They all got God.

In their moments of woe and desolation; whether as a Missionary in a far out rural area with little money. Or as a young orphan struggling to get by in a hell-hole. A young Christian trying so hard not to fit in…there was that uttermost and high state of bliss, rapture and beatitude. That unfurling peace and joy, that beautiful embrace and joyful assuredness of knowing;

He is here.

I am not alone.

I am His!

He is mine.

When you have the Master of all creation, the God of the Universe, the Love Himself, the Supreme commander of all as your Lord and Saviour, how can you want more?

And this, is the real blessing!

Are you blessed?

Side Note:
Have I disputed the place of material blessings? Nope. It will in fact result from the real blessing...but for a purpose.  It's important we know that it is not the real definition of blessedness from God's perspective. Never forget that.

Stay blessed!

Glossary:
a - "Dem don dey follow am for him village."
Literal meaning: He is being followed by his kindred.
Translation: He is under a spell. 

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN

 #LatePost

I shouldn’t feel this way. I know. I am a Christian for Christ’s sake. Or at least I like to think I am. I close my eyes, open my mouth and try to express what I feel, or don’t feel. But Nada. Zilch.

Nothing.

I should pray. I know I should, because I am a Christian. I am supposed to pray! Prayer is what we do. But I just don’t feel like it. I’m serious.

I don’t feel like praying.

And that is the problem. Has been for a while. Of course this should not be expected of me. I should be able to roll off my bed with the first thing on my mind being God and talking with him. But now I wake with a certain kind of…trepidation. Like, “Here we go…”

I say ‘trepidation’ because I hate routine. I like doing the right thing but I hate doing it dutifully. It makes me hate myself because I feel…passionless. Then I start feeling sad for hating myself. And then guilt sets in, going on in a vicious cycle.

So, yes, trepidation. Days have gone when I felt that way.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I still love God. Very much. But it’s more like me saying, “I really, really do love my Mum but I just don’t feel like talking to her. I just prefer we sit side by side in silence.”

It happens in relationships right? You just want to enjoy the person’s presence.

But you see, it doesn’t work that way with God. Because for starters, I can’t even feel his presence, how then can I enjoy it? Secondly, I really need to pray…especially now, with all that’s going on.

Sigh.

The silence is unbearable. I don’t say anything and neither does He and somehow this makes me mad. Why won’t you say something? Why do I have to be the one to initiate the conversation?
 
I’ve always been one of those Christians who believe in prayer and it became really alarming when this went on for a few days. So, after a lot of pep talk, from me (and God?), I finally decided to pray.

“Our Father who art…” I say but slowly drift off. I gave it another shot and this time tried not to pay attention to how dry and frigid my voice sounded even to my own ears. It felt…forced.

I mentally threw my hands up in defeat.

“Lord, this isn’t working and we both know it,” I say.

But what has to be done has to be done, so after several minutes of rambling and carrying on with my routine, I decided I had satisfied my conscience. Or maybe not. And this went on for days.

It’s not like I don’t know I should pray. Like I said, I believe so much in prayer not just because people say so but because, I’m telling you, I have tasted its power and beauty.

I have had times when God showed forth for me at the nick of time or even before time because of prayers. I have received strength and refreshing waters in the place of prayer. I have seen it at work. So, why can’t I just pray?

It’s like every time I close my eyes to pray, my brain starts bustling with things to do yet I know every bustling outside God is just busy nothing. I tried. I promise, I really tried. But it was not a discipline issue this time. No. there was something more, keeping me from reaching that beautiful place of fellowship with God. And I didn’t know what, I just was not feeling it.

And then it hit me.

“We walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7 _ NIV)

I realized then that I was basing my connection with God on how I felt at that moment instead of allowing faith shape my perception of God. And a lot of this goes on in our generation. We are so in touch with the physical, basing everything on what we can see, smell, taste, hear or feel. But that is the problem because God does not dwell in the physical.

We worship and communicate with God in the Spirit because He is Spirit. He is our Father in Heaven who we don’t see and want to communicate with. Our emotions have no place in this.

Pay attention: Prayer is NOT about how you feel. Got it?

Of course it would sometimes come to a point where God rubs on us so much that it overflows to our emotions. But, it does not begin there.

Get this straight. Passion and feeling in prayer does not begin with the emotions. It begins with following God in blind-eyed faith before the manifestation of anything physical. Go and check, those who encountered God in such awesome ways in the Bible began with a step in faith.

So it means that at that point you don’t feel like praying, that is the best time to pray because you pray in the Spirit and not by feeling (sight, emotion, flesh).

Immediately I had this understanding, I ran straight for God. At first it seemed like a repetition of the same ol’, but I pressed for more. I pressed, bearing in my heart that I have a Father in Heaven who is just waiting for me to speak. I pressed till I was so completely immersed I didn’t even realize it.

It was a wonderful feeling. But it didn’t begin with the feeling.

Another tip: When you just don’t feel like praying, go to God’s word. Allow his voice soak you through His word. It spurs you to pray.

Pray God’s word to him.

And yes, you’ll need lots of discipline too.

So, are you ready? Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and say,
“My Father, who art in Heaven…”

Side Note:
I'm sure by now you've noticed this is a favorite topic of mine; prayer. And in all my goodness, I have decided to spare you the pain of having to point out the obvious. So, yeah, it is a topic of particular fascination to me...the ability to communicate with the divine.

And I've read a few books on this. Will probably do a book review on my top 5 books on prayer sometime.